Thursday, February 23, 2012

Har Mar Barnes and Noble

While the store itself is pretty good, there's nothing noble, and everything barn-like about this bathroom. Upon stepping into this bathroom, one's eyes are greeted with a reasonably clean bathroom, decent counter and tile (though old) and several spots in which to complete your transaction.

But when you finally have to breathe in, usually from the nose like most normal people, the gag reflex kicks in big time. Your olfactory glands will be wrangled into a full-nelson of putridness rivaled only by an actual animal smell.

The smell, oh the smell.

In the many years of patronizing this store, I have maybe one or two times found this bathroom's smell to be tolerable. Typically, it smells like someone has dropped a prime deuce nearly bringing one to vomit on each trip. To say it smelled like something died would not even begin to describe it. It smells more like the handicap stall has been turned into a cage for bigfoot.

If you find yourself in this store and have to go, 1 or 2, skip it, go across the hall to homegoods, or even one of the mall bathrooms.


Vital stats:


3 stall

2 urinals

1 persistent, unearthly stench

Comments:

Though mostly clean, there is sometimes a mountain of paper towels growing out of the garbage can. The urinals also could use an update and cleaning.

Overall

-1 out of 5 flushes, without that smell, i might give it a 1 or 1.5

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Olive Garden Roseville

Olive garden - roseville


While I am not a huge fan of the Olive Garden, they have decent food, and more importantly, a great bathroom.

Stepping into this bathroom for the first time is like entering a palace. It's bright, clean, smells OK and even has halfway decent artwork.

The tile is light tan, and it's consistent on the walls and floor. It does have a slightly cheap vibe, but it's initial impression is amazing.

The smell is more or less air freshener, but it's not a typical bargain basement scent.

Vital Stat:


2 stalls, one handicap accessible

2 urinal (no divider)

Despite the overall pleasant look of the bathroom, the one thing i have against it is that there is no divider between the urinals. I was really nervous to use this, because during a busy time, there's no telling how many people might come in and disrupt my business.

That's a serious offense.

Until they get that fixed, they get:

4 out of 5 flushes. Throw a divider in, and they would have a nearly perfect bathroom.

Mirror in the Bathroom

I am a fan of ska music, and recently I came across a decent 2-Tone ska band called "The English Beat" or just The Beat. One of their most famous songs is titled: "Mirror in the Bathroom."

What is it about? I really couldn't say. There's a line about locking the door, and maybe the guy talking to himself. And another line about watching yourself while you're eating.

Whatever it's about, it's a good song, go check it out on Youtube. If this blog had a theme song, that would be it. Depending what it was about.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Macy's Downtown Minneapolis 4th floor

Ah, the Macy's in downtown.

That is probably one of the coolest places to go in downtown. Except that it's impossible to get out of. I may actually still be in it somewhere. I would compare it to the labyrinth in mythology. Thankfully i have yet to find a minotaur.

Actually, funny story about this Macy's. A few years ago, I had come to downtown for the first time. I was about six hours early for an Aquabats concert I was going to. Or maybe it was a job interview. Either way, I figured I'd kill some time in the skyway.

I entered Macy's and soon became lost. At length, I eventually had to use the bathroom. One of the lady's working there was nice enough to tell me that it was at the top of the escalator, back by the children's section.

I zipped up the escalator, and made a bee line for the privies. I went in and it was full of stalls, not a urinal in the joint. I shrugged this off. After all, it wasn't weird to me, the building I worked at featured a men's room full of stalls.

So, I did the business, and leisurely went to wash my hands. As I was drying off, a woman came into the restroom.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked.

"What are YOU doing in here?" She asked.

Touché

"This is the men's room, isn't it."

"Um, no. It's the women's room. Can't you see all the stalls?"

I looked again. It was indeed full of stalls, which was normal to me.

"Ah, sorry!"

And I made haste to leave. I was afraid she'd call security, so I immediately tried to leave Macy's. I eventually made it out, but probably after such a long time that security would have found me had they been so inclined.


Vital stats:

men's (women's features between 3-4 stalls if memory serves)

1 handicap stall

2 urinals

Smell - neutral

The tile work is average, not especially clean, nor dirty. Nothing special, which was a surprise for a Macy's.

The urinals also lacked a divider between them. That's not a good thing as it eliminates peace of mind. Who can go when the threat of a sword battle looms over every second?

The stall looked like it had been used by Hulk Hogan, after he was angry there were no toilet seat covers. (There weren't any.) It was loose, hanging on by a single screw, and I'm not sure why it hasn't been fixed.

The only things that would have made this bathroom worse would be if the floor was sticky, or if there was a smell and graffiti.

They do earn a bonus point for high quality paper towels that are beyond what i even use in my kitchen.


1.5 out of 5 flushes

Broken toilet seat, no seat covers or divider at the urinal. They get points for no smell, and the paper towels