Venturing into Ikea is like entering a dungeon in the original "Legend of Zelda." Except it isn't fun or rewarding. Mainly because I'm too old to run around with a toy sword and shield.
They both feature maps that are effectively useless in getting you where you need to be. They both have "secret passages," or shortcuts to areas you wish you hadn't found. They're both filled with irritating residents. Oh, and they both lack anyone that can help you in any meaningful way.
Zelda, monsters that eat your shield or can only be killed with the exact weapons you just ran out of.
Ikea, slow and annoying fellow shoppers.
Finally, they both lack bathrooms.
Well, almost. Ikea does have a few bathroom, but they are mostly un-findable. Unfortunately, the mock-up rooms in Ikea only feature "display" models that aren't functional. I guess that's good, since they have no toilet paper.
Luckily, my Zelda experience allowed me to find one on my most recent (and hopefully last) trip there.
Vital Stats:
1 urinal
1 + (?) Stall
Comments:
Nothing fancy here, but i am shockingly surprised it's not worse. When i ventured in, i found it to be mostly clean. The floor had a slight dirt buildup, probably from age on white tile.
The smell too, one would expect to be impaled through the nostrils with the smell of who-knows-what, but instead my nostrils were greeted by an air freshener that was tolerable.
I am please to note that their bathroom features "cutting edge" technology in the form of a Dyson Airblade hand dryer, in addition to acceptably spasmadic auto-sinks and flushers.
3.25 out 5 flushes (they lose points on the decor, but get some for smell and general cleanliness.)
Overall, this is an oasis, a brief respite of calm in the insanity that is an Ikea store. Good luck finding it.
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